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18^th Sept. 2007 Some Expectations of the School

Dear Parents,

This is a difficult letter to write. It is not in my nature to thrust rules or lay down ultimatums. However, over a period of time I am finding that many parents keep ignoring our request. Children end up bearing the brunt of my displeasure even though it is not their fault.

I need parents to comply with the following rules:

Change of Bus Routes & Bus Stops : Several times in the past we have sent notices that children must go home from school in their regular bus to their regular bus stop. Children must NOT change their buses or get off at any stop but their own. I do not want any requests from parents on this.

Birthday Parties :There is the issue of birthday parties where you invite select “friends” of your child. This causes a lot of heartburn among those who have not been invited. It fosters groupism and breaks the team-spirit. In some cases, other children may ostracise your child.

It’s your party. You communicate from home to home. Leave the school out of it. We will NOT allow any distribution of personal invitations in the school. All communications MUST go through the principal’s office, without exception.

Carrying food to school : Despite many requests, some parents continue to send food with their children. Mostly it is ‘junk-food’ to be eaten on the bus. What is the need to indulge your child in this manner? Does your child really need a snack in two hours from lunch?

By sending snacks you also create all sorts of problems and frictions between children in the bus. It also becomes an undue hardship for other children whose parents are particular about the kind of food they offer their children and about following the rules of the school.

Request for Leave :I understand that there are social pressures to attend functions. Expecting that the school will ‘grant leave’ is unrealistic and meaningless. Classes and activities do not stop. Your child is the loser in the long run. As a parent you have to decide whether your child should be attending the social function or attending school.

After an absence, don’t compound it by writing an excuse saying “my child was unwell”. Remember that children usually let out the truth and you lose the teacher’s respect for teaching your child to tell untruths.

Bringing Cars to School :Every notice for Open-Day carries a request to use the school bus. It is a concern for the environment around the school, in the village and within the school. While a vast majority of parents honour us by acceding to our request, there are some of you who continue to ignore the request time after time. I cannot believe that a ten-minute bus ride is such a hardship.

In all these cases I have listed above, the children are not to blame. These are all situations where parents are treating the school’s requests with laxity, without understanding the negative effects on their children and others.

I want children who are well mannered and disciplined. Teaching them to be so is the parents’ job. That is what good parenting is all about. It is for parents to teach their children the right values. At school we support the parents by reinforcing those values. The basic norms of behavior that you expect from your child are the same as those we teach and reinforce.

I expect parents to reciprocate. When you bring your car to the school, your child and other children notice this. You have just taught them that it is OK to ignore a request from the school. But it is NOT OK!

I expect parents to pay particular care to ensure that they understand these requests. I expect parents to teach their children about honouring rules. If we do not have an agreement on this basic, minimum set of values then we are working at cross-purposes. In that case, you seriously need to assess whether you or your child has anything to gain by continuing at Vidya Valley.

My objective for the children of Vidya Valley is that they should grow up ‘non-fussy’ and tough in mind and body. My approach to education is not to ram it down their throats but to guide them towards learning. My idea of enforcing discipline is not by wielding a stick – I would much rather have willing participants.

This has been a difficult letter to write and I have no desire to do it again. I am sure that I will have everyone’s support. I am quite, quite sure that you all share my concern for the well being of the children.

Nalini Sengupta
Principal

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